Adversity

 

Below is a poem I wrote back in March 2011. It was a time of great struggle for myself…it was one of several times I found myself in a position where I had to give up almost everything I owned which all fitted into my car (my home) already, so I didn’t own much to begin with (I had to sell my beloved outdoor gear that I used for hiking, camping, backpacking) in order to get by and survive another week. I’m not asking for sympathy here or anything else, I’m just sharing a poem. This is just reality, this is life and we all go through hard times…It was also a time of great physical pain, because stress makes chronic pain flare up.

 

I consider poetry and writing a great way to get out the emotion, the hurt, the stress. When I put it down on paper, set it aside, then read it again later on, I find it helps me to put everything into perspective. It will show my strengths and weaknesses, help me to make decisions and face things with more determination, and compassion. On this occasion I clearly was at an all time low, but as always, I survived it. And there lies the message…this too shall pass.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

I could just walk into the desert.

My final adversity would be finding the strength to give…

to give in.

Rather than fight.

There would be the one final struggle,

The final pain,

Then no more fighting to face another loss of home, loss of belongings,

Loss of everything.

The final struggle would be to let go of the only thing I have of true value;

Life.

I could just walk into the desert.

 

Roxy Whalley – March 24, 2011

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6 responses to “Adversity

  1. Hi Roxy,
    It was so nice to meet you however briefly at the first day of the RTR. With all the people and activity there you likely will not remember. It was my intention to look you up again while there and get acquainted, but as I often seem to be inclined, on Wednesday, on the spur of the moment, I left early wanting to experience a day or two at Slab City before I was scheduled to be back to work here in MT and only later (with some regret) remembered my intention to see if I could find you again. I do have some annoying short-term memory issues and it often seems to work that way.
    The starkness and hopelessness of your poem struck me to my very heart. It must have been such a difficult time for you. I can’t even imagine, but am so happy that you seem to shine so now. I would like to say in sincerity that I understand, but though I have never really had material abundance as most of the world defines it, in my 67 years I can’t really say I have ever done without the needs of each day provided me and more. I say ‘provided’ because I can’t begin to imagine that being the case for nearly 25000 consecutive days could reasonably be due to any coincidence or accident of nature or the like, so for many years I have chalked it up to a higher power with my well-being as an intention of (His?) karmic Love. I do hope you never have to experience feeling anything like that kind of loneliness and desperation ever again.
    I hope we meet somewhere down the road again and can spend a bit of time perhaps even camping as neighbors. You are such an interesting person and it would be nice to get to know you.
    Kind Regards,
    Russ

    Liked by 1 person

    • Russ, I’m afraid I don’t remember you though the name rings a bell. I’m truly very terrible at faces and names, so don’t take it personally. I’m bad even when there are only a couple of people around, let alone hundreds.
      I thank you for your kind words and well wishes and your time in writing your comments. Perhaps we will meet over the horizon one day. If it’s meant to be, it will.

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  2. Hi Roxy, I too have walked that path many times. Shaman refer to those times as deaths that are always transformative in nature. If you are lucky enough to escape with your life you will be much stronger and wiser.
    What struck me so profoundly about your poem was the date. Those were the darkest hours ever for planet earth. Just 13 days earlier on 11Mar2011 three reactors at Fukushima Daiichi in Japan were destroyed by a huge tsunami and a week later all 3 reactors melted down. Contaminating the Pacific Ocean for many thousands of years.
    It sounds like you were caught up in all that bad energy and that is what nearly cost you your life back then. I’m glad you survived, you are a real asset to the human race and I really enjoy reading your blog.
    Happy Trails, Doug

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    • That is interesting. I’m very sensitive to natures pain and suffering (I feel Mother Natures anguish more deeply than most) so perhaps part of it was that, but I had been going through hardship for a long time and had reached my breaking point. Still, I do believe that the energy from the earth, the planet, the universe, and the energy humans put out, have an impact on each other. I did survive, and I’ve survived much worse. My two favorite saying are: This too shall pass, and, All is well in my world. Both are very comforting and positive comments to say during hard times and truly help.

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