In Spanish there is a word for which I can’t find a counter word in English. It is the verb vacilar. It does not mean vacillating at all.
If one is vacilando, he is going somewhere but doesn’t greatly care whether or not he gets there, although he has direction.
ie; Let us say we wanted to walk in the streets of Mexico City but not at random. We would choose some article almost certain not to exist there, and then diligently try to find it.
From Travels with Charley…
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I am vacilando in my life.
This has been my life.
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